Finda and woman's responsibility for goodness, and why chinese culture is the way that it is

[tstrooper]

I wanted to talk about a topic that is very close to my heart, as there was a reason I needed to find Oera Linda Codex: during corona my dad past away and ever since, I had been feeling more and more guilty and unloved. For some reason... The Oera linda codex showed me that women are supposed to be the ones responsible for our goodness. But whenever I brought this to the attention of my mother, and told me she would try her best, it wouldn't make a difference in how guilty my mother would make me feel. I have brought this to the attention of my mother also, and she really tries her best not to make me feel that way. But no result again.

Why? I have tried a couple of hypotheses; one was how finda women value honor over goodness it seems, and funnily enough, she agreed immediately, that's what feels truly good for her, is 'honor' or 'reverence'. But that threw me for a loop. Why would that make me feel guilty at all, it makes no sense. Then I really tried to watch my feelings whenever she would make me feel guilty(again, never deliberately would she do that, her intentions are very pure), and I have found that the most painful feeling for me is: feeling unloved. I am talking about the warmest safest feeling in the place of your heart, love right. But everytime she made me feel guilty, there was this complete absense of love. And I have felt this feeling before, also with her: whenever she would hug me, I would feel totally 'dead' in my heart.(terrible feeling btw)

Now as she does have the purest intention towards me(which took some convincing, for myself), why would her love make me feel so unloved. And then I asked her if she even feels this feeling of love, this warmth and safety in the place your heart. (which felt like accusing her of the worst of crimes), but then she also agreed. She has never felt this feeling ever. WHAT? She doesn't sense when I feel love towards her. Now I remember a lot of blond girls, whenever I gave them a hug or was close to them, I sensed this total feeling of love coming from their bodies. And my mother doesn't have that.

So here is what I'm hypothesizing: the asian genome, does not have the physical capability to feel love. To 'feel' someone's good intention from a distance. They literally don't have the organ which produces that feeling.

Which means they can't 'feel' if they're safe with someone, all they can use, is what they 'see' or 'hear', to know if someone has good intentions. In this context, the japanese culture of bowing and respect makes so much sense. Bowing is one of the most non threatening movements I suppose, idk.

I have gained a totally new sense of respect for japanese culture, as my hypothesis would mean, every single person there has this total sense of willpower and discipline, to bow all day long.

This was a bombshell in my mind. And I wanted to share it with y'all.

[ott]

It's a very personal story the meaning of which only becomes more clear at the end (although I still don't understand why you would feel guilty). As I understand, your mother is of Asian descend? Interesting observation/theory. In general (on average) it may be true. I don't have enough experience to confirm it myself. All I can say is that it makes sense (to me) that different races have different ways/capacities of relating to other people. It could also be true that a mother/woman may feel a different sort/level of love for someone/a child that is in part of different blood than her own.

[Cú Chulainn]

I wanted to talk about a topic that is very close to my heart

Thank you for sharing tstrooper. My condolences for your loss. Upon reading your post, I defer to Ott’s advice on the personal nature of your experiences. These things are both strengthening for you and initiating vulnerability by sharing them online.

As for reflection, to help you get more understanding by you helping yourself in your own introspection, I offer intuitive feedback as I sit with this thread.

Firstly, the “responsibility for goodness” is quite interesting since certain women may lean one way or the other. Take Oera Linda, and how one woman is exalted and another woman is not, primarily for their personal reasons for how they hold themselves.

Culturally, with a Gaelic example, Lugh of the Tuath Dé and Fomorians chose to venerate his mother with a reoccurring festival at the Hill of Uisneach upon her death. On the American continent, several of the “indigenous” cultures created matriarchies based on the mother’s family for clan structure and inheritance.. even the Gael, by way of the Milesians, chose to give the wives of their deceased chiefs to the Pictish clans when the latter came to ask for kinship bonding.

So to say, women are focal points for remembrance, structure, connection, and the love shared. I feel you share this in your post, and the connection of Asiatic cultural differences associates comparison based on perceived lack.

However, that lack is supplemented by your own perception how the cultures are bred, to a certain extent, to bow and so forth. The trope in Japanese, is the lower the bow, and the longer the hold, the more honored the recipient becomes.

The vessel that fathered my own, and his own father, both were introduced via work to Asian customs. The former with work between Japanese and American business relations, and the latter with Chinese.

To wit, based on this personal second hand experience, I’ve gained first hand experience observing and interacting with other cultures. For example, in a predominately Korean and Vietnamese ethnic block of southeastern Los Angeles, I found that most familial units have three generations in each outing. Like a grandfather or grandmother, with any tandem of each successive two generations. If it were a father and son, the father was close with directing his child, and the mothers, by presumed age, would be unit social or individually hyper focused in grocery outlets.

These are quick examples, however the instinct to keep to what works for each culture seems best inside out, yet not always outside in.

A simple experiment to coordinate ethnic identity associated with “feelings of love” such as the one you mentioned when giving or receiving a hug with a loved one can be done to help gain data on if an organ, or spiritual component, exists regarding the sensation.

On the other hand, visions, such as second sight, are an identifier and variable for the spiritual that is not present in all cultures. The Lakota need to sacrifice to receive a vision, such as a multiple day fast and meditation, while Gaelic and Germanic, primarily Scythian cultures, do not need to do this beyond seeking more than what is natural.

Asiatic cultures have super intense, often weird and sometimes more practical, folklore than European, so I would be interested to learn if you could find evidence of this feeling you have reflected upon and its effects on others based on certain factors you deem appropriate.

Great post, and again, thanks for sharing your vulnerability. Most certainly a strength in these times.

ᛟ (OTHILA: Heritage)

[tstrooper]

So I have tried to analyse what this feeling of love, this feeling of warmth and safety actually does to my body. And I think it does mainly one thing. Whenever someone feels love towards you, it totally subdues any fear you might have in your body at the moment. The more someone loves you the less you are afraid. But fear and love are 2 systems separate from one another. So this impact is not obvious if you only watch the love, but if you watch your fear also, you will see the fear subside completely.

Sidepoint: I'm having a really hard time analyzing these emotions, this deeply, and their impact on other emotions. I feel like I'm totally stupid in this 'spiritual' realm. And I think it's because I'm a man. But anywayy.

Maybe the feeling of love means actually wanting to protect or support the other person. I think this is true. That's what it feels like. Someone feels love for you:'ahh they want to support me'. In contrast to not wanting to attack. Because that's what bowing signifies:'I don't want to attack you'. So love is actually the other side of the coin.

I also think this is why western 'genes', the blond blue eyed people, have a better easier time thinking for themselves, because they don't have to constantly be afraid of fitting in the group. Blond blue eyed people already feel totally safe, all they need is a little love.

But the feeling of love has so many more implications. Because it means, they think you are a good person as well. So when they don't love you, it means you're a bad person. When I feel no love, especially from my mom: I ask myself immediately:'What have I done' and offcourse, I can't think of anything, maybe something small, like leave dishwasher open lol, meaningless. I think it's a totally automatic system, out of my reach.

[Kraftr]

None of our mothers today were brought up with the traditions of Frya so they don't know anything about the role they used to have too. Women live more on social conventions and subtleties. Their righteousness and love is fragile and it takes a whole culture to get women on that sturdy path that makes sense, they are not born as wise courageous saints. Not at all unfortunatly, and society today is very shattered, unsocial and leads them in many mindtraps. Except for toward their children, women are not only insecure or naive but often actually naturally selfabsorbed and machiavellian(being strategic cunts), blonds and sweet ones have these pitfalls too. That is why they need the maiden mother example I believe.
Love has to have a male backbone. I know the comfort we as men love that keeps us upright that you speak of, but we need to be well rounded men to create the space for it. To become their best selves and great motherfigures they need our outsider help. A lot of times the actual dissapointment is that you have to find that still nobody loves you like your mother, and allmost every other women cares less when it comes down to it, with a few exceptions, good luck but mostly your guidance and knowledge of the female, and your role (and shortcomings).
So here is some knowledge; The love of a mother changes through time; when the baby is born she wants it 24-7 with her, but more and more she lets the baby alone. It has to learn to walk by itself, go potty, dress itself, go to school and eventually live on their own. And, as a man, even create that space for women. So it is natural for a mother to care less and less, and maybe your inner child mourns this and feels dead, because you struggle to grow up. So it is her instinct saying 'take care of yourself, time to leave the warm nest/your dependence on me'. I believe Minerva and Hell have this transformative connection. Same with Shiva; death is transformation.
See it as a motor for your further development; discomfort is the tension needed for transformation and knowledge.

[tstrooper]

You know, I have been very lucky throughout my life. Even though I did not receive the feeling of love directly from my mother. There have been many other women who have helped me overcome my trauma's, and destructive self-beliefs. Especially in lower school, there was this period where I did not want to go to school anymore, because I felt so unloved and abandoned, and literally locked myself in my room. But my teacher would have non of that, and went all the way to my home just to convince me to come to school. And so I came with her every time, this lasted for about a week. And at the end of that week, I remember a moment where, when we arrived at school, I started growling at her, just because I was so angry for feeling so abandoned and I wanted to go home. Then all she did was say: 'there really is no need for growling' And all of a sudden I felt that she loved me totally. She totally filled my heart full with love. That also was the last moment I ever believed in those feelings. I think she saved my life like that, or at least my love for life.

Women can be spiritual saviors for sure. That was also the moment I think when I decided that I wanted a blond girlfriend for sure. Because at least, they love me.

But I have to re-emphasize that my mother has always 'shown' me love, in complements, words and hugs and all that good stuff. There have been a couple moments with my mom that were truly traumatising, BUT not necessarily because of what happened, but because I felt nothing coming from her heart. Again not because of what she did, I remember very clearly what she did. But because all of a sudden I 'felt' she would not support me at all in the future, and 'felt' in my heart she would let me die. All these feelings that were there, I can say now with confidence, were there because she doesn't have a heart like that. And didn't and doesn't have the physical capability to make me feel love in my heart.

[Kraftr]

Okay then my comment is not applicable to you, She is probably damaged psychologically. I wish you the best with this wound, lucky for you you know good women too. I wanted to just warn against unwarranted deification of women. The fixation on blonde from foreign dudes(if you are) also annoys me, just like the fixation on asian girls from white men is cringe to me, as it is an offense to their ethnos and all higher things that civilisation brought. Racial objectification. Also white girl's saviorcomplex is to me the biggest misdirection of their true personal devellopment and destroys their breeding grounds. Anyways good luck.

[tstrooper]

What is your genealogy then? Maybe if you don't understand what I'm talking about, you don't have a 'heart' either.

I myself have blond hair and brown eyes. My mother has brown hair and brown eyes. My father had blue greenish eyes with brownish hair. But the father of my mother had blond hair and blue eyes. and the father of my father had blond hair and blue eyes. So, if I have children with a blond woman, my children will have blond hair, blue eyes too, I hope. But that's beside the point I was making. I was talking about the physical ability to feel love, from a distance. Which Chinese women seem to lack entirely, as does my mother. I have tested this theory out with lots of women and men too. With mostly blond, blue eyed people, I can feel the love vibration in the air. Some people stronger than others. But Asiatic looking people, or Arabic people, have no such vibration.

Asians can have very strong and loud thoughts though.

Interestingly, a jewish kid at school actually had the ability to respond to my 'love' vibration. And I think he desperately needed that as well. Off course his culture is totally f'ed. As jews are probably men with a 'heart', who married and stayed with Turkish women, who have no heart. The only love, jews ever receive, is from their father. And probably start associating the things that their father give, with love. Fathers make their love known by giving 'things' and money. And so, the only love jews will ever know, is strongly associated with money.

[Kraftr]

Germanic. Most of my family is blond as children, and a lot of blue eyes, also brown. I was drawn to Oera Linda because I believe in the right of selfdetermination and preservation of my people(Europeans). There are many things about middle Eastern, Asian and African culture and physique that are charming, but I believe it is bad for everybodies freedom and sense of self to mix people, genetically, but even as seperate communities in one country, especially as hostile as is done to us today. And I realise more and more that this may be another cycle of this recurring old war theme, and it is real; an eastern mafiastate mentality versus the European Hellenist freedom spirit that people take for granted. Instead of it spreading(they love us so much they want to be with us) it is now threatened in our home, economy, streets and bedrooms.
I was very openminded, as artists are. A foreigner who speaks Dutch used to seem Dutch to my naive younger self, as if the language produces a Dutch mind. After dating several ethnicities, I believe we are not the same and it is more respectfull not to do that. So if you are asian, don't hate yourself or your people. Loving blondes becomes a mindfuck for everybody involved, Both if you are selfhating or proud.
Don't perpetuate the hurt your mother did by yourself. Fucked up minds are no blessing on relationships either, so your love would be a curse on the one you desire. Working on your selfesteem and peace would be priority I think.
All the best to you.

I allways assumed that people in eastern countries had a mentality that was/is also common here in lower class lives, sometimes called the 50s-mentality; parents worked, tried to seem respectable, punish when you're 'bad' and that was pretty much all the understanding/love you got. The child's romantic and idealistic views of life(that they got through modernity) were not understood by their backward parents. But the parents were just not smart, curious or develloped that way. Maybe they were even damaged psychologically in their life to shut that part down. Or like my mother says 'you can't solve everything'. She sees discussions as wasted time, and there is wisdom in that. We have our 'rituals' and that is fine. A culture can do that, and it can be a trait. Some say that we can't really make that distinction clearly because traits and culture are so intertwined they can be seen as the same, racial difference is actually plausible and observed. Then again, Fryas women may have been more free and respected, but only few were maiden or mother, they all worked, assisted and served their community and men. Plus no doubt there were stupid , cold hearted or crazy ones
I agree with your observation, and it is why I believe the motherculture to be old, because it takes safety to devellop a loving ttype culture, or fenotype. I don't want to be as dismissive about the capacity to love, but I recognise many more harsh aspects in other cultures.

[tstrooper]

You have to understand, love is the only thing that makes us entirely different from all other folks. Because everything else, like culture, flows from that single physical difference. Off course there is iq, but the Chinese and Japanese have that even higher than us. So why are we better? Because love makes us courage enough to think for ourselves. And love makes us not attack each other at the tiniest disrespect. Love is not some spiritual non sense, it is a physical phenomenon, that totally obliterates our fear for the other person.

If you don't have a heart, we can't trust you, because you hide your intentions.

You can tell me all you want, not to deify women. But I have tried for years to produce love for myself, but I can never add unto what I already felt, or only temporarily. The experience of a woman opening her heart is for me is 100x of what I can do for myself. So I'm sorry if I'm going over the top, with worshipping these gorgeous creatures. They will never be a god of course, only wr.alda is ultimately good, or my a good intention through my own consciousness, but I will put my trust in them for sure.

What is good, is about the happiness of the group, and I as a man simply don't have the data.